Sidelines and Sessions

2009/11/25

Nerdy

Filed under: Uncategorized — spsukaton @ 8:29 am

I’m a very musical person. I hate saying that, since any jumped-up college kid with an iPod can say the same – and most do. Even if they just bandwagon bands (or if they do the ironic-hipster-reversal thing and start talking about bands nobody’s ever heard of – can’t stand that!) But that’s the door into a rant I don’t feel like going on right now. For know I’ll just repeat the words of a fellow saxophonist and DB staffer I respect – “so many music journalists aren’t musicians themselves, and it affects their work!” Imagine then, listeners!

But seriously, Consequently, specific kinds pull specific levers in my soul – the way smells or textures do for other people.

It’s been a very rough quarter, on a lot of levels, albeit a deeply satisfying one, my highkey (thanks for the word, Janelle!) stress and lowkey silence notwithstanding. Music soothes the savage beast, so I decided to let my fingers pull up a website at random as I write. It’s a college marching band. There’s just something about trumpeters pulling off high E’s that soothes my brain like a hot bath and a pint of Ben’N’Jerry’s Karamel Sutra. Nerdy as hell? Perhaps.

Social cachet aside, I feel like I’m eating my first substantial meal in weeks – my current choices have been fulfilling, but something about marching music makes me feel cozy, regardless of how I feel about high school or college or my reputation or church or the universe. Not uplifted – Selah’s got me there. Not empowered – Blue Scholars does that well enough. Just cozy. Unalienated. At home. Psychologically dressed-down.

It’s…unpretentious. Refreshing. A kind of “coming out,” to borrow from a friend and fellow blogger. The other parts of my identity that I occasionally play up or down – the writer/editor, the college student, the activist-theologian, the historian – all fall away, like clothes.

That’s not to say that I belong in the stands every Saturday – I don’t, for a lot of reasons. But hearing or playing the sort of stuff that does belong there simplifies my life, or at least takes me back to a time when my life was simpler – I knew who I loved and hated, I wasn’t worried about the entire universe, and I wasn’t paying for school.

I’m probably the only one who gets like this, but holler if you feel me.

 

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